Helen Ward discusses picking Wales and returning to Watford

When Watford’s Helen Ward and her husband Matt decided they wanted a family, they found themselves trying to fit it into a busy football calendar.

“You start thinking ‘if we have children now then I’ll miss this’ and ‘if I do it then I can do this before it’,” said Ward.

• Helen Ward interview - part one
• Time to pause the concerns for one last push
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“But you soon realise there is never a perfect time, and nor does nature neatly fit in with plans.

“So Matt and I had the mindset of ‘it’ll happen when it happens’. We decided we’d deal with what it looks like when it came around.

“You can’t forever put football first when it comes to things like having children.”

Ironically, both times she became pregnant, Ward has just signed for a new club.

“I’d just signed for Reading when I found out I was pregnant with Emily,” she recalled.

“Funnily enough, just before that I was in a meeting talking about contracts – not with Reading – and one of the people in the room said ‘we’ve heard you want to start a family and we’re not sure about it’.

“It sounds incredible now but that was a moment I won’t forget. Firstly, who is talking about me in that way, and then secondly is that really the reason you’re not sure about the contract?

“For all I knew I might not have been able to have children. In any other job, people would not be able to say that to a woman.

“So I moved to Reading, signed the paperwork and then fell pregnant before the season had started! The WSL2 had just been formed and it was a summer league, and because Reading were in it they’d had a break between the end of their normal season in May right through until the March of the following year.

“I signed for them in November and we were just training through the winter. Just before the FA Cup game in January I found out I was pregnant and I had to tell my old Arsenal teammate Jayne Ludlow – who is a scary person at the best of times. She was much more scary as a manager than a player.

“I said to Jayne that it was early days and I wasn’t going to tell anyone, and I carried on until I was 12 or 14 weeks pregnant. I played a couple of FA Cup games and then I stopped.

“That was around March, I gave birth to Emily in September and I was back training in November.

“There were no competitive Wales games and my first competitive game was the next March, so I had about a year out of the game.

“That’s another way the game has changed for the better. There is a lot more support for women financially, mentally and physically to help them.

“There are new regulations for maternity pay and maternity leave, which is fantastic. But back when I had Emily, we were all sort of guessing and trying what we thought was right and best.”

When her son Charlie was about to enter the world, Ward had agreed a move to Yeovil

“No disrespect to Yeovil but that move wouldn’t have worked out anyway. Because of the distances I was only training once a week and then I was going to play at weekends,” she explained.

“I did that for four or five weeks, and I realised it was hard. I’m not the sort of person that can dip and out: I’m in or I’m not.

“Training once and then turning up at the weekend was already proving difficult for me, and then I found out I was pregnant with Charlie so I said ‘let’s call it quits’.

“Both times I was pregnant I mutually cancelled my contract and I wasn’t earning any income through football.”

Was there ever a time, after the birth of her two children, that she thought she might not put her boots and shinpads back on?

“Before I had children I’d have said to you there’s no way I’d go back to playing football once I became a Mum,” Ward smiled.

“Then when I had Emily I knew I wasn’t ready to stop playing, and it was the same after Charlie.

“There was more I wanted to do, and things that I wasn’t ready to let go of.”

For any parents, the need for reliable babysitters and help with the children is essential. When you are playing a very high standard of any sport, that becomes even more the case.

“I had the support of my husband and the rest of my family, and they all rallied round to help with the kids. My Mum and Dad and Matt’s parents have been fantastic.

“Every time I went to a Wales camp I was away for 10 days. When Emily was really little my elder sister came up from where she lives in Sussex and we paid her to look after Emily.

Celebrating a goal against Estonia (Image: Action Images)

“So in the early days, quite often for 10 days my sister would be Emily’s carer.

“I was at Reading at that point, and we were training during the day so my Dad would take Emily for me.

“Then when I fell pregnant with Charlie my Mum had just said she was retiring, and I said to her ‘You’ve timed that really well!’

“She knew exactly what I meant, and they’ve been brilliant. Without the support of my family, there’s no way I’d have been able to carry on.

“Matt works full time: he leaves the house at six in the morning and gets home about five or six at night. So without the support of the rest of our family, it wouldn’t have been possible.”

Ward’s story is one that is unlikely to be re-lived by top-tier female footballers of the future as, in the time she has achieved so much, the whole sport has changed and grown exponentially.

“Throughout my career, players of my generation have had to fight our way through and battle to get any sort of recognition.

“I often get asked whether I wish that my career had started 10 or 15 years later, and I always say not really because I’ve enjoyed my time and what I’ve achieved.

“I don’t know if I would necessarily have enjoyed it as much if there was the pressure of trying to get a contract every season, or trying to get a move to another club.

“In my time, if you played well you got the chance to move. If that was to a club local to you that was fine, if not then you had to decide if you wanted to travel a bit further.

“If I’m seen as a groundbreaker or a pioneer then I’m massively proud of that. There are plenty of players who are unbelievably talented who haven’t been able to carry on playing because they have had other careers that have taken priority.

“I’m lucky that I was able to keep playing the game and break ground at the same time.

“And now it’s time to sit back and watch the women’s game keep going, knowing that myself and others of my generation have played a big part in that.”

That’s a reference to Ward recently announcing that this season will be her last, and for a big Watford fan it is fitting her career has gone full circle and brought her back to the Hornets at the time she has chosen to bring the curtain down.

“I’d always hoped to come back to Watford,” she said.

“I’m sure I’m not speaking out of turn if I say that in the time between me leaving and coming back that lots of things changed here for the better.

“The ladies/women weren’t always part of the club. We didn’t have the set-up we have now at the training ground.

“You got to wear the badge, but that was about it.

“There were periods during my time away where I’d look from afar and think it was a real shame.

“But then more people, like Richard Walker, got involved and brought the women’s team under the club’s wing.

“They decided they were going to do it properly. In the back of my mind I had always wanted to come back but the time had never been right.

“When I had Charlie I had a chance conversation with Keith Boanas, who was manager here at the time. He’d done really well with the team very much against the odds.

“I had been talking to Spurs about signing for them and I was just about to when Keith said ‘don’t do anything, come and meet me, our general manager Ed Henderson, and Rich Walker’.

“I asked what they wanted to talk about and they said they wanted to know how they could get me back to Watford.

Back scoring goals for Watford. (Image: Andrew Waller)

“In one single conversation I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I was eight and a half months pregnant when that conversation happened so for them to sign me as a player was really positive.

“But also the things they were willing to do for me around having a family and knowing that I’d need to have a job that was very flexible and enabled me to work from home, showed me their intent and I was massively grateful.

“Ever since then Watford have been really good to me and it’s nice to have come full circle. Watford is in my blood and even when I wasn’t playing here I was at Vicarage Road every other Saturday to watch the men’s team.”

Other Watford legends like Nigel Gibbs and Lloyd Doyley never played against the club, let alone score a goal against them.

“When I first went to Arsenal, I played against Watford for the next two seasons. Then the Super League was formed and we were in different divisions.

“I don’t think I played more than two or three games against Watford, and each time it was really weird.

“Each of the games were quite soon after I’d left, and I've got a feeling I scored against them at Boreham Wood for Arsenal. I really can’t remember if I celebrated or not.

“I’m not fussed if ex-players celebrate scoring against their old club. It depends on the circumstances around you leaving I suppose.

“It’s difficult. If you’ve left on good terms you want to respect the fans and the people you played with previously, but you have a new job with new fans and players, and you have to respect them as well.”

At 36 and back at Watford it was inevitable the Hornets would prove to be her first and last club. But when did Ward decide the time was right to stop playing?

“I think Covid impacted me more than I realised at the time,” she began.

“The time off the training pitch was hard because there is only so much road running and treadmill running you can do.

“When you get to a certain age, your body doesn’t like repetitive, hard-ground running. When I came back to training and added in twisting and turning, my Achilles’ didn’t enjoy it.

“That prolonged period of inconsistent training, where we were allowed to train and then we weren’t, realty affected my body negatively.

“Even during the pandemic I was asking myself if there was any point in going back.

“Then I decided I was being stupid and I couldn’t let something like that end my career. I wanted it to be on my terms.

“But I did struggle and have struggled for the best part of the last 18 months. It’s been very up and down in terms of my Achilles’ and other tendons in my body.

“Every season if you ask my teammates, I’ve said ‘right, this is it, I’m finishing now’.

“But this year I think they knew I meant it. When Wales played Switzerland in October in the World Cup play-off and lost in injury time of extra time, I knew my last chance of going to a major finals had gone.”

Did the idea of stopping playing for Wales but continuing her club career with Watford cross her mind?

“I’m all or nothing, as I said, and without meaning any disrespect to Watford I was never going to play club football and not international. If I was going to retire, it was full retirement.

“That’s not because I don’t love playing club football, but because for me international football is the pinnacle and that was what I always strived for. I wanted to do my best for Watford but then that enabled me to be my best for Wales.

“If I didn’t have that international end goal then I knew it would be really difficult for me. To play and train and watch my friends going away with Wales, I knew I’d find it really hard.

“Once I realised I couldn’t commit to another two-year major tournament campaign with Wales, I think I knew that this would be the season I’d retire.

“I hoped it would be by playing in Australia and New Zealand at a World Cup Finals, but it wasn’t to be.

“I spoke with my family, the Wales manager and the people here at Watford, and I just said I knew it was the right time.

“I was getting more and more excited about the potential of the things I could do if I was not playing. That for me said I was ready to stop.

“It’s going to be strange when I don’t have to turn up to pre-season but it’ll be great as well, by the way! I might turn up to watch, in a sadistic way!”

Helen in action for Wales against England's Steph Houghton in 2015. (Image: Action Images)

Before she earned the first of her 105 caps for Wales, a 21-year-old Ward earned one England Under-23 cap after a 10-minute appearance in a Nordic Cup tie against Finland.

Within a year she had pledged her allegiance to Wales and scored on her full debut in a 6-1 win over Luxembourg in September 2008.

“I never really enjoyed my time with England. I think I did two or three camps, and I always felt having me there was a bit of a token gesture,” she said.

“My coach at Watford had mentioned me to the England coaches because I’d scored 50 and then 40 goals, and they felt I deserved to be considered.

“It felt like they were humouring my coach by giving me a chance.

“I went along and the first thing one of the managers said was ‘You’re a forward, right?’

“I thought that wasn’t a great start. There was no conviction at all. He then compared me to a player who is an incredible player but nothing like me in terms of attributes we had.

“I felt I didn’t fit in. I was never comfortable. If I’m not happy, then I can’t perform. I used to get a bit stressed out about being called up, which is not a good feeling at all.

“Then one of the coaches at Watford, who also worked with Wales, asked me if I had any Welsh background. I said my Mum’s parents were both Welsh and that set me thinking.

“I spoke to a teammate who had recently made her Wales debut and she said it was the best thing ever.

“So I went along to a training session, and as soon as I got there the girls were brilliant. Considering I was from this side of the bridge, they welcomed me in straight away.

“It’s absolutely the best move I ever did because playing for Wales has been the biggest honour of my career by far.

“To have played for Wales 105 times is very, very special to me. My grandparents were not alive to see it, which is really sad, but I hope I’ve done them proud.

Helen Ward: Wales' all-time highest goalscorer (Image: Action Images)

“They were both selected to play sport for Wales: my grandad at rugby and my Nan was due to play hockey but then the Second World War came along and stopped it.

“My grandad used to come along and watch any games whenever I was playing anywhere near Bristol where they lived. My Mum would send him newspaper cuttings and I’m sure there were plenty of Watford Observer articles in their house.

“He used to take the mickey out of me and tell me about players who had scored more goals than me that week!

“He was always really supportive, even if it was from afar.

“My Mum loves the fact I play for Wales, as do all of her side of the family. They’ve been huge supporters of my career.”

As well as those 105 caps, Ward scored 44 goals for her country, making her the leading international scorer for Wales, surpassing the legendary Ian Rush’s total of 28 and then keeping above the 42 netted by the recently-retired Gareth Bale.

“I didn’t even know when I had broken the goalscoring record. I wasn’t aware at all. It was only looking back and checking dates of games that I know when I overtook certain people,” Ward admitted.

“I didn’t know I was the highest scoring Welsh player of all time or that I had broken Ian Rush’s record.

“I only found out later that I went level with him on the first game of one Wales camp and then the second game was the first time we played at the Cardiff City Stadium, it was my 50th cap and I took my tally to 30 goals.

“Will my record get beaten? Who knows. I didn’t make my debut for Wales until I was 22 but nowadays there are girls in the team at 17 and 18.

“I was lucky that apart from the time I had out of the game to have my children, I never had long spells of not playing.

“But I only found out later I’d beaten Ian Rush. I’ve met him and said hello but we’ve never compared goal tallies!”