Things have been far from straightforward this season for Domingos Quina, who is now on his second loan move of the campaign after penning a new deal with Watford in the summer.
The midfielder was unceremoniously cast aside by Fulham boss Marco Silva, who doubted both his work rate and commitment, resulting in a paltry offer of four appearances in which to impress.
Now at Barnsley, this season is looking considerably more productive for the 22-year-old than it had been up to January, with two goals from 13 matches a suggestion for those at Craven Cottage that he might have been worth a second glance.
Speaking to the Watford Observer Quina admitted it was difficult to be left out in the way he was at Fulham, even if in the long run it improved his mentality.
"It was probably the hardest time I've had playing football because most of the stuff, I didn't understand what was going on," Quina said. "I started in a cup game against Leeds, and then after that, I came on [as a substitute] in one game and then, I never got a sniff, and I didn't understand what was going on.
"I would go home after training, just not understanding what am I doing wrong or what I'm not doing right, and you ask the questions, but you're not getting the answers or people are not telling you what you actually need to do to improve. It was a hard time, but I guess it's just part of the journey. If anything, it just made me stronger mentally. Now I'm at Barnsley, I'm happy, I'm playing football, which was just what I wanted to do. I just want to play football."
Silva's comments, made as far back as October, are still important in the context of Quina's season, with his performances since the move to Oakwell seemingly at odds with the accusations thrown his way.
Quina said it was the first time he had ever had his work rate questioned in such a manner and that he did not agree with the sentiment.
"It's not nice," he admitted. "To me, that was the first time I'd heard that. If you can say one thing about me, I will always work hard. I think he could have said I need to work hard to understand the tactical side of his formation, or the game, but to say I just don't work hard and I need to work harder, I disagree with that. But I respect them, and I respect his opinion."
When it was decided that a second loan move might be worth considering, Quina wanted to make sure that the destination would be one that would allow him to take a step forward in his development as a player.
The game time he has accrued since his move to South Yorkshire has shown him that he made the right decision in the end.
"I was grateful, but we really had to look at the plan because we didn't want the same thing that happened at Fulham to repeat itself," he said. "The managers can say whatever they want. They tell you stuff you've not heard before, but when you get there, it's a different story. I'm happy with my team and my agency Two Touch; they did the work, and Barnsley came forward to show interest, and as soon as I got here, they started doing what they said I was going to do, and everything is working out."
Now getting the game time he was hoping to get at Fulham, Quina is starting to both develop as a player and understand the rigours of being a key member of a squad.
While the time spent at Craven Cottage provided some fringe benefits, he knows that ultimately, there is no replacement for the experience gained by playing games, as he continues to relish the high-pressure environment of Championship football.
"It helped me, my time at Fulham, even though I didn't play, it made me mentally stronger," he said. "And now that I'm playing, because I hadn't been playing before, I appreciate it more. So every game, I go into it and want to do my best. I want to win and work hard to help my team achieve their goals.
"I'm playing a lot of games now, starting week in, week out, and I think that was the question; some people didn't think I could do that and establish myself. And now I'm doing it week in, week out.
"You learn more by playing games than in training. You can train as much as you want, but in the games, there are things happening that don't happen in training, and it helps you see things.
"If you make a mistake in a game, it makes you aware of it, so you try to improve. And the competition - you've got someone on the other side waiting for you not to perform so they can get their chances. So it's pressure, but it's a nice feeling because you always have to stay on your toes, and not let the manager down because he trusts you to play every game."
Whether or not Quina will be given the opportunity to let a Watford manager put their faith in him in the future remains to be seen, with discussions planned for the end of the season.
However, a chance to finally shine in front of the Vicarage Road supporters certainly remains an attractive option.
"I'm not thinking that far ahead to be honest," he continued. "My goal right now is helping Barnsley, trying to do my best to keep the team in the Championship, and after the season, I will sit down with my agent and my team, and we'll talk about the plan.
"Even though I haven't played a lot of games at Watford, in the games I've played, the fans have always been there supporting me and not just me, all the players. Obviously, I want to play for the fans and I want to play for Watford, but some things you can't control. I can only control what I can do."
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