You can't see it, but it will affect one in four of us during our lives. TOM SPENDER discovers the stigma of mental illness deters many of us from seeking help

Sue knows how difficult it can be to talk about depression. People who naturally find the vocabulary to talk about a broken bone or even a tumour can be struck dumb when it comes to mental illness.

"It's so different from a physical illness because people don't understand what is the matter with you," she said. "A lot of people blank you out because they are frightened of any sort of mental illness."

Having suffered from a form of the condition herself, Sue now runs a monthly support group in North Finchley for the charity Depression Alliance. Barnet Council recently gave the group a £1,200 grant to set up a second monthly meeting in the new year to cope with demand.

David Knight, cognitive behaviour therapist at The Priory hospital in The Bourne, Southgate, said the need for education is desperate and supported last week's World Mental Health Day.

"One of the big problems is shame. Mental illness is not socially acceptable. But the mentally ill are no different from anyone else. We all have down days, and being mentally ill is just a more extreme version," he explains.

Claudia, 34, from Southgate had suffered intermittent depression for years. "I wanted to be everything to everyone and I felt like I wanted to die," she recalls.

The cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) she received at the Priory after a nervous breakdown now known as a depressive episode turned her life around. It helped her overcome the deaths of relatives as well as a blood clot in her lung. It has also worked for her husband and even their child.

"If my husband and I are having a row, my eight-year old turns around and says 'why don't you use your CBT'," she says.

David Knight agrees: "CBT gets people to challenge the way they think about themselves. It's teaching people to be their own therapist." By learning to recognise and work out the stresses in our lives, he believes it can be possible to deal with mental illness before it becomes serious.

"People don't even realise they have a problem because it builds up over such a long time. Quite often they are told by someone else who notices changes in their behaviour.

"To become physically fit, we set ourselves targets such as going to the gym three times a week. But we don't do that with our mental health. We need to educate ourselves and give ourselves things to do to stay mentally healthy," he says.

Sufferers names have been changed to protect identities.

October 16, 2001 11:56