Shop-lifting is a crime. Knocking off a policeman’s helmet is a crime. So too is theft, underage drinking and appearing naked in public.
None, however, is quite as criminal as allowing pant-wettingly good new act Dizzie Cheroot and the Colossus Dream to play to a near empty house at the Horns on Monday night.
No, the name is not a joke – nor my admittedly over excitable prose.
Before I go on please allow me to place the following glowing tribute in to some kind of context.
Monday evening did not start well – not well at all.
Indeed, I was supposed (erhem) to be out with a lady for the duration but was cruelly stood up half-an-hour or so before with an apologetic phone call. Still, at least it wasn’t a text, wasn’t it?
Faced with a choice between an evening of telly fuelled solitude and alcohol fuelled live music, however, I thankfully chose the latter – as did about 20 others. The rest of you missed out.
For those unfamiliar with the oddly titled seven piece (and I reckon that’ll be just about everybody) I’ll do my best to explain.
The band is the latest project by Martin Renshaw (Marv) and Nick Hall from Phoenix Down – a riotous ensemble of acoustic guitar, saxophone, fiddle, flute, synths, percussion and even a bit of human beat-box.
It might read like a bit of a mess but the end result is little short of brilliant; a rich, all encompassing sound set to a relentless toe-tapping beat.
Just as well, then, that Marv has the voice to drive the whole package onwards; an earthy, rich roar that really ought to come free with bulk purchases of Jack Daniels and Marlboro Red.
The guys’ set was simply outstanding - well worth a rather lengthy wait and even worth a being stood up for.
The casual, laid back melodies available on their Myspace were enhanced wonderfully when played live by the crowded accompaniment – in places giving it a folksy edge a not a million miles away from traditional Polka music.
But don’t take my word for it. Go and see them live.
“Wow, thanks very much,” says a shocked Marv after polishing off a deserved encore of the Beatles’ Lady Madonna, with guest vocalist and night promoter Pete Curtis.
“We’re actually just practicing at the moment and trying a few ideas out together. But we’re writing our own stuff and things are coming along well.”
So well in fact that the guys are releasing their debut EP on May 9. More will definitely follow on these pages.
In all seriousness there are times when it’s easy to forget why you started to listen and write about music in the fist place; times when the exercise comes perilously close to a chore.
Nights like Monday, however, remind me why I bother.
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