It’s with a heavy heart that I draw a final line under this year’s glut of UFO sightings.

It perhaps comes as little surprise that the cause of the latest spate of sightings (in Mill End, South Oxhey, and Rickmansworth) would appear to be…errr…exactly the same as it was last year: Chinese lanterns.

Yep, it seems we are alone (for the time being at least) after all.

Mind you, this doesn’t mean said stories aren’t great fun to write and research; with each allowing for yet more cloak and dagger consultations with so called UFO “experts” world-wide, not to mention the veritable flood of conspiratorial web comments (often from various genetically analogous corners of the US) such stories attract.

Indeed, the very liberal use of the term UFO seems a sure-fire way to drive international traffic to our site, thus allowing us to quote bigger readership figures to potential advertisers and bring in more cash.

Trebles all round.

The same can be said of stories involving bonkers American pop star Britney Spears; similarly bonkers home-grown warbler Amy Winehouse; big cat sightings and just about anything to do with sharks… making this the best read Diary piece in the world today.

Incidentally, anybody seeing any of the above in town over the weekend is asked to call the newsdesk ASAP.

Carrying on the mystery theme I’ve recently been alerted to a linguistically confused cash machine (yes I said cash machine) in Watford’s Market Street.

According to editorial manager, Frazer Ansell, the machine, belonging to the Co-operative Bank, gives its onscreen instructions in Welsh – a language that most people in Wales don’t even bother with.

Of course I reckon it’s UFOs. Anyone with a more sensible explanation is asked to get in touch.

Much amusement to be found this week in the latest edition of Lib Dem propaganda free sheet Watford Wide News.

In case you missed it I’m referring here to the glorified four page news letter sent to householders (including me) across the Watford and Three Rivers area.

It is, as you might expect, a crashing bore. One small (highly triumphant) article on “Local Leisure Centres Success” did, however, catch my eye.

Lauding the successful completion of the Central and Woodside Pools the article read as follows: “Residents who remember Labour’s Watford Springs fiasco will also be pleased to know that the new centres opened on time and within budget.”

Fiasco? Possibly a bit harsh; especially when you consider the ongoing Lib Dem orchestrated (erhem) “fiasco” taking place just down the road at Rickmansworth’s William Penn Leisure centre.

The best part of a year late (and counting), and around £4 million in the red it’s pretty clear why they didn’t see fit to mention it.