Watford Alcoholics Anonymous member shares powerful story

At the end of last year, I contacted Watford Museum to ask for help with a local community project I am part of. I was looking for pictures of the Olde Cookery Nook, a charming little cafe that used to be located in Monmouth House in the Parade in Watford until it closed in the 1990s. I couldn't find any online but Christine, the museum’s archivist, kindly found and sent me one, leading to a ‘memories’ article in the Watford Observer. I reached out to the journalist who had written the article and we talked about the reason behind my original request, which has brought us to this piece. Perhaps I should elaborate with some background:

You pass me every day: ostensibly, an ordinary person blending into the crowd, yet I am different. I am an alcoholic. But, for the last 20 years, I have remained sober, free from the shackles of an addiction so strong that it destroyed every relationship I had, took everything I cherished and consumed me in hopelessness.

For two decades, I was the man you saw stumbling around, mumbling to myself or shouting obscenities at strangers; the man you would cross the street to avoid; the man slumped on a park bench drinking from a litre bottle of whatever was the flavour of the day. To the outside world, I was a catastrophe of morality yet, inside I was crippled by fierce resentment, overpowering fear and a selfish attitude toward life and all that resides within. For years I tried to get sober: a relentless struggle to regain control, with countless failed attempts, each plunging me deeper into the abyss of self-destruction.

A meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous (Image: Alcoholics Anonymous)

As the years passed, seemingly in an instant, I withdrew from life to the isolation of my misery until fate intervened and I found the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous through a concerned relative. A group of people from all walks of life, just like me but for the circumstances of my existence. They understood my pain, flawed emotions, and distorted attitude toward life. They welcomed me with open arms and compassion I had never known. They told me there was another way: a few simple steps leading to a radical change that would reveal a happy, sober life and an assurance that everything would be ok. There was no judgement, no fees to pay, no questions to answer, just the willingness to help. That gave me hope, something I had lacked for a long time.

(Image: Alcoholics Anonymous)

In the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, I found a profound transformation. Order emerged from chaos; forgiveness replaced resentment; confidence overcame fear; selflessness triumphed over selfishness – and most of all, sobriety prevailed over alcoholism. My entire life changed through the love of the AA fellowship that gave themselves so generously. Alcoholism is misunderstood by so many – a social stigma – yet the reality is that in the depths of addiction, there waits an inner peace desperate to break free. I just needed some guidance and I found it in AA.

Now, I am not the man you seek to avoid. I am free!

AA has a rich history in the UK, being the first overseas territory from the United States to start a fellowship of people recovering from alcoholism in the late 1940s. Since then, hundreds of thousands of people from all walks of life have found us, and by doing so, have found the same freedom from their alcohol problem as I did. Now, there are thousands of meetings across the UK. No matter where I am, I can always find a meeting, and the same kindred spirit from my very first day.

Watford AA first met at the Cookery Nook in Monmouth House (Image: Watford Museum)

Monday night’s AA meeting was the first to be established in Watford in 1954 at the Cookery Nook and one of the first as our fellowship grew nationally. This year is our 70th anniversary, which we will celebrate at the Holywell Community Centre, Chaffinch Lane WD18 9QD on Saturday, June 29 from 11am to 5pm, coinciding with Alcohol Awareness Week in early July. Over the years, the meeting has moved from the Nook to our current location at St Andrews Church, WD17 4PY (every Monday at 8pm).

If you, or someone you know suffers from an alcohol problem, there is a solution, and it can be found in Alcoholics Anonymous. Watford’s Monday night meeting and 70th-anniversary celebration are open to anyone who is afflicted, or affected, by alcoholism.

To find an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, call the National Helpline on 0800 917 7650 or visit www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.