SOCIAL anthropologists contend with some degree of authority that the younger children in a family are generally the funniest among siblings and are generally more confident when it comes to holding court and making their peers laugh.
This may in some way be confirmed by my own experiences as the youngest of eight children. While I don't imagine myself as Oxhey's answer to Peter Kay, I like nothing better than sharing a joke with friends over a pint, usually in the pub. The Coach in Croxley Green will do, or Fullerians Rugby Club or Watford Irish Centre.
The biggest flaw with my joke-telling technique is that I already know the punch lines. The chances are, if I find a joke funny the first time I hear it, I will still find it funny when I come to retell it. The upshot of that is that I will be laughing my socks off long before it's time to deliver the killer line. I do regard myself, however, as a bit of a doyen of the less obvious double entendre.
This was illustrated perfectly at Fullers on Sunday when one of the coach's wives, Sue Trybus, marched up to me bold as brass and declared: "I love your column.".
"I've never had a complaint!" I volleyed back instantly, leaving the chaps in attendance in stitches. Fortunately, Sue saw the funny side too.
My Kealan is the second youngest of seven, and he also seems to have picked up something of the comic mantle. For a little boy he has a huge desire to put a smile onto people's faces though his sense of humour is, on occasion, rather more graphic than mine.
Just last week he pulled a couple of "Pharoah's Finger" type stunts, though both were on much more elaborate scales.
For those who never enjoyed the rudiments of wisdom imparted by the Dennis the Menace annual of 1972, the Pharoah's Finger trick is where you cut a small hole in one end of a match box and fill it with cotton wool. Next, liberally splash in some red paint and carefully slip a finger into the hole. Then, when friends are gathered, slowly slide open the match box to reveal a severed finger. Watch them gasp. When they step forward to take a closer look wiggle your finger and watch the realisation set in; pause for laughter. Dud dahh! It works every time.
As I said, eight year old Kealan did something very similar but with an empty shoebox.
He cut a hole in the end and put an old tea towel inside and pushed his hand inside before wandering down to Riverside Park to spook his unsuspecting friends.
With the help of his big brother Finlay they carried the box very, very carefully, but with a minimum of fuss so as not to attract attention too obviously.
Kids being kids, it wasn't long before a small crowd had gathered and they asked: "What have you got in the box, new trainers?"
"No" Kealan whispered, "We've got something much better. We found it over there by the river."
As the crowd huddled and hush descended the two young Ansells slowly removed the lid to reveal a "severed" hand.
Brilliant. The ruse worked a treat and there were sharp intakes of breath all round. Rumour has it that Dominic, the area's community PCSO, was even on his way over to investigate the grisly find.
Of course, they all fell about when Kealan flexed his fingers and they realised the hand was still attached to his wrist.
The slightly ghoulish genre of severed organs is clearly an untapped field of humour that should be cultivated as far as Kealan is concerned.
He took it to another level at the weekend when - with the help of his mum - he scared the pants off my oldest son's girlfriend.
The ironing board at home has a removable hotplate and Kealan thought it would be a great idea to take it out and push his head through the gap.
Wendy then covered the ironing board, and Kealan, with a bed-sheet and he waited patiently for a victim to arrive.
Bang on queue Colette walked into the room and Wendy asked: "Do me a favour Colette. Check what's on the ironing board and take it upstairs for me."
Colette obliged. She removed the bed-sheet and nearly put the windows though in the conservatory, so loud and shrill was her scream when she saw Kealan's smiling phizog staring up at her. What a little devil!
However, Kealan is barred from pulling such stunts on his poor old dad - unfortunately my ticker is in no fit shape to handle shocks of that nature.
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