A retired charity worker has spoken of the pressures of becoming a carer for his wife who was living with Alzheimer's disease.
David Blair, from Cassiobury Drive, spent seven years looking after wife Valerie until her death seven months ago.
He now hopes to raise awareness of the vital role carers play in the lives of relatives and friends who can no longer look after themselves when he takes part in this year's Memory Walk for the Watford and Dacorum Alzheimer's Society.
David was married to former teacher Valerie, 78, who worked at Cassiobury Junior School, for 48 years.
He said: “My wife retired at 60. She was very active in retirement but about six or seven years ago she began to show signs of loss of memory, confusion and loss of confidence about things like driving.”
However, although Mrs Blair was never formally diagnosed with Alzheimer's, doctors did confirm she suffered from a form of dementia.
“She lived here with me until about 18 months ago, when she had to be admitted to residential care,” David said.
“We got to the stage where I wasn't able to meet her care needs. She needed pretty much constant attention.”
Eighteen months ago, Valerie moved to River Court Nursing Home, in Explorer Drive, where she died seven months ago. But following his wife's death, David began volunteering at the home, spending one morning a week with residents and often taking them to a nearby coffee shop.
“During that period of seven years, I have been her principle carer,” he said. “Even when she was in the care home, I would visit her every day.
“I would say looking after someone with dementia, whatever form it is, is an all-consuming task at home as they become progressively more disabled and need all kinds of help with eating, dressing, washing and showering.
“I'm also concerned for carers. It's quite important to support and encourage carers. The Memory Walk is a symbol of people with dementia and their carers.”
Father-of-four David, a volunteer for the Alzheimer's Society, said that initially he struggled to cope with his wife's illness, but found support in his family and friends.
“To begin with,” he said, “it was difficult to understand what was happening in her life because she couldn't do certain things. Gradually I got into a way of doing things.
“It was so frustrating. As you learn to cope with one level of disability, you suddenly find there are other things that happen as she drops down to the next level.
“It can be a very lonely thing. We were on our own here. To have meaningful conversation became increasingly difficult because she would repeat things or forget what she said or sometimes not make sense or wasn't interested.
“These things put great pressure on carers looking after loved ones at home. Organisations that provide support, such as the Alzheimer's Society, are absolutely vital.”
Ruth Sutherland, acting chief executive of the Alzheimer’s Society, said: “A carer is perhaps the most important person to someone who has dementia and they perform a role that can be both very challenging and rewarding at the same time.”
The Memory Walk takes place in Cassiobury Park, Watford, on Sunday, September 19.
For more information, visit www.memorywalk.co.uk or telephone Elaine Feast on 01923 251175.
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel